grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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