She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
