If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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