apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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