Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize