is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
