This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
