She announced her abortion via fbk
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
