Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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