Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
she peed on how many people?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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