If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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