So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
