You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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