"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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