worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
