in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize