i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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