I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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