there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
