Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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