I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
