at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
