what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
