btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
he shaved USA in his pubs
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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