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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
