this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
