i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
