Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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