You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
