Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
