I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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