Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
