Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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