Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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