walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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