There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Of course I have a pirate flag
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
