I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
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