Apparently you make a good broom.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
