The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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