Can i not drive my cunt home
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
