You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize