Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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