i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
