I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
