love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
