so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
