Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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