do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
