I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
