i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
