I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
