I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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