that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
