if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
