I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I will be naked everywhere
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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