I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Michael Bay diarrhea
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
