already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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