I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
