at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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