Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
