so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
