You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
