if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
