She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
you made out with another girl for some wings
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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